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Yams or sweet potatoes

September 8, 2011

Are these Yams or Sweet potatoes?

We still talk about the dinner where I served sweet potatoes.  Mom insisted that the yams were delicious.  Of course I set her right.  We were all eating sweet potatoes.  The discussion continued and she became angry.

Mom loved and was very knowledgeable about birds.  She had bird feeders everywhere with binoculars and bird books close at hand.   The day that she first pointed out a beautiful red cardinal as a female bird was disconcerting.  She certainly knew that among birds the male is more colorful.  Naturally, her children pointed out her error and became more adamant as she insisted she was right.

Of course there have been many other similar situations, but those are the ones that we all site as our examples.  After to many of these occurrences, I came to realize that it doesn’t matter.  There is no reason to be concerned about male versus female or sweet potato versus yams.

I learned not to correct my mother.  When I did the result was only to upset us both.

It became more difficult with Dad.  How can I ignore it when he thinks his younger brother is his son, tells me he has no memory of the man who was his closest friend for 35 years, or says he has more children and names them without mentioning me?  What about when he decides that the house we are living in is his and he sees now reason for my husband to be hanging around?

Sometimes I forgot the lesson my mother taught me and try to correct Dad.  Of course the result is for him to end up frustrated and for me to end up unhappy that I pushed him.  I remind myself every day that these things really don’t matter.  I work harder to let things go.  The important thing is to keep him happy and emotionally comfortable.   Contradicting his reality is a bad thing for both of us.

In spite of my best efforts and the reminders I catch myself correcting him at least once a day.  But I will learn.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. September 8, 2011 6:29 pm

    We learn more about life, ourselves, and this terrible disease every day, don’t we?

  2. September 12, 2011 9:42 am

    Thank you for your blog. I’m learning to cope with my mum’s Alzheimer’s. This post in particular has helped me.

    • September 12, 2011 12:02 pm

      I am glad you found our post helpful. I think is very important that Alzheimer’s caregivers have an opportunity to learn from each other.

  3. October 24, 2011 8:25 am

    I have been surfing online more than three hours these days, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It’s lovely worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all webmasters and bloggers made just right content as you did, the internet will probably be a lot more helpful than ever before.


  1. Other people’s experience | Me, My Mum, and Alzheimer's

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