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Jim is dead

September 11, 2011

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It’s been happening for more than a year now.  Dad will announce that his long time friend Jim is dead.  Sometimes he is very upset at the loss of his friend and other times he is just stating a fact.

Dad spent every afternoon with his four closest friends, including Jim, for happy hour this summer.  We all had dinner together the night before Dad and I left Michigan.  Within a few days of getting back to my home Dad again announced that Jim was dead.

I have respond by telling Dad that Jim is fine.  I site the last time we spoke to or saw Jim.  Sometimes we have called Jim.  I make every effort to convince Dad that Jim is not dead.

My insistence will occasionally work.  But frequently he becomes upset.  Or  angry at the person he “remembers” telling him about Jim’s death.

Over time Dad seems to have accepted Jim’s death.  He is rarely sad or upset any more when he talks about this loss.  The occasional phone call to or from Jim is nice, but doesn’t change the now settled belief in his death.

I am beginning to wonder who I am protecting when I try to convince Dad that Jim is not dead.  Jim is a cherished Uncle.  I am not ready for him to be dead.

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