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It Embarrasses Me When

September 13, 2011

Mother was always dressed stylishly.  Even when she wasn’t going to a nice event there were pretty clothes and nice accessories.  As her disease progressed her appearance declined.  Her clothes would have food spots on them.  She frequently wore the same clothes for days.

I was only able to have an impact on this situation when we vacationed together.  In those situations I hung one complete outfit on each hanger.  I would sneak into her room after she was ready for bed and steal her dirty clothes.  Unfortunately, this was not something that Dad was able to continue.

Dad would now be happy to wear the same clothes for days on end.  Unless he can see a lot of spots on them he gets upset when I take them away.  So I am again stealing dirty clothes each night.  He will tell me each morning that he has just taken a shower or he doesn’t need one today. Of course he always “just brushed his teeth”.

I am really embarrassed when Dad is wearing dirty clothes, has a body odor, or bad breath.  This feels like a loud announcement of either “I don’t care” or “Look what a bad job I am doing”.

It takes a lot of time, determination and experimenting but I am learning tricks and know that I am happiest when he looks nice.  To me this is one of the most important ways I can show the respect I have for him.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Carrie permalink
    September 14, 2011 4:04 am

    Loving your blog. It is sad and beautiful at the same time. I’m wondering if you should contact an Alzheimer’s association and share it with them. How can you get this out to more people? It makes it even better that it is coming from the 2 of you–mother and daughter. xoxo, Proud aunt and cousin

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