Skip to content

They All Fall Down

January 28, 2014

There happened to be a box of Dominos on the table when Liz and I sat down with Dad. We started standing them on end as we chatted. We made lines and patterns and then we would knock one down creating a chain reaction. The first couple of times we did this Dad was concerned by the collapse. The he started standing the Dominos. More than once Dad was the one to tip the first Domino. He would laugh and smile, then immediately stand another Domino.

What a fun time! Dad was in such a playful mood! Joking and smiling at my daughter and me.



January 21, 2014

I have recently read through all of our posts as a way to brain storm new topics.  Writing this blog continues to be a very helpful process for me. It helps me to recognize my reactions and put things into perspective.

I’m sure that regular readers have realized that there is not a real time progression of our posts. Topics are addressed as they occur or something jogs our particular memory or as situations become easier to examine.

You probably knew that though.

Out of Town Visitors

January 14, 2014

I’m able to see Dad most days even if only for a few minutes. I watch each change in his ability that occurs. I can slowly adjust to each loss. It’s easier that way, it’s all so gradual. I try to explain to family and Dad’s close friends. I try to assure that they are aware of the gradual march of Alzheimer’s. But I have learned that there is really no way to help another person adjust at a distance.

My older brother came to visit Dad a few months ago. He brought along a picture of our parents holding him at two months old. He wanted to share that picture with Dad and help Dad recognize their relationship. Unfortunately, Dad had no recollection of the young couple in the picture or the 65 year old man who had come to visit. Mark quickly realized that his visit would be very one sided and was really for his benefit, not our Dad’s.

More recently my sister came to visit. I think she was braced for the intellectual changes, but the physical changes really hit her hard. It had been 2 years since Karen had seen Dad. As we walked into the Inn Karen saw Dad across the room. He was sitting in his wheelchair curled forward looking at his hands in his lap, the frail little man that he has become. It was more than Karen could take. She walked right out the back door and sat crying in the garden. She took a little time to adjust before coming inside to sit with Dad, hold his hand and talk to him.

I realize that no matter what I do to decrease the impact we need to each experience our loss. It is so hard to watch.